


Petals in the Ash

by AllisonIlluminated



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Bodyswap, Character Study, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Dark, F/F, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-04 00:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13353075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllisonIlluminated/pseuds/AllisonIlluminated
Summary: Cinder Fall hated it when her situation was out of her control. It wasn't the time travel anymore, or even being stuck in Ruby Rose's body. No, it was the icy, hostile, beautiful mystery of her "partner" Weiss Schnee, and the inexplicable draw to her she couldn't seem to shake. White Ash.





	1. Chapter 1

_“_ _What?!”_

 

Cinder staggered, faltering as the stark white that had engulfed her snapped to mind numbing color. The rush of sensation overwhelmed herand she went to the ground, sharp pain racing up her arm as her elbow jolted against the corrugated metal floor. Her head – no, her entire body, burned with a numbing phantom pain as she instinctively nursed her aching limb against her black combat skirt.

 

_What the fuck? What the fuck did she just do to me?_

 

She had taken the fall maiden's power. She had killed the Nikos girl when that _bitch_ had come out of nowhere and blasted off of the damn tower! How had that even happened?

 

_Wait._

 

The fall maiden's power was gone.

 

Cinder had been consumed by the fire, at first. When Salem had promised her the power, she had told her there would be a price to pay, but she had been fundamentally unprepared for the emptiness, the hunger, the longing to burn and consume to fill that rift. In time, though, she had come to enjoy the longing and the hunger, the constant reminder of everything she had lost and what she stood to gain.

 

For five seconds, five eternal seconds, she had burned as a whole, and it had felt _right._ She had felt whole, powerful, victorious.

 

And now it was gone, and everything was wrong.

 

Where was her power? Why could she feel the left side of her body again? Why couldn't she feel the slithering of the Grimm who lived beneath her skin? Why was she wearing a skirt? Why was the ground metal, and why had she fallen instead of making an impact? Why was it day?

 

_What the fuck is going on?_

 

Cinder's vision wavered as she pushed herself into a sitting position, staring down at herself. _Something is horribly, horribly wrong._

 

Her legs were not this short, and they were _absolutely_ shaved. She was wearing a combat skirt and a black blouse, emblazoned by a silver rose medallion at her waist that looked _entirely too familiar_. The panic didn't truly set in, though, until her eyes rested on her chest.

 

_Where are my boobs? Where are my fucking boobs!?_

 

She was flat! She hadn't been this flat since she was twelve, back when-

 

Her hair was missing too, her fingertips grazing the blunt edges of the short cut as she poked her chest. Pain flared in her elbow, and she winced as she grabbed it with her other hand. Fighting down the panic, she shook her head then looked around to her surroundings.

 

She was on an airship, filled with _children._

 

_Don't lose control. Don't scream. If you lose control, everything will go to shit._

 

Slowly, taking deep breaths to calm her raging head, Cinder pushed herself to her feet. All of the kids were _still_ towering over her. She was 5'9”! She wore heels! If she had to be looked down on by one person…

 

Her fingers were clammy against the cold windows, leaving misty outlines as she leaned against the glass. She took in the landscape below, hungrily search for some sign of the attack. Vale should have been in flames, swarmed with Grimm and faunus and- Nothing. Not one damn sign of her plans, nothing! Nothing!

 

She saw her expression, and her heart froze over.

 

Ruby Rose blinked at the mirror, her silver eyes pooling with moisture. Slowly, she moved her hand and flinched as her reflection disappeared behind her palm. Looking back at the reflection, nothing has changed.

 

Cinder waited for a minute. Then another.

 

As fast as her legs could carry her, she dashed to the garbage can and retched. Her throat burned as she hung her head over the can. She slammed her fist into the metal, desperately trying to bite back her tears. _No! I swore I wouldn't! I can't cry, not since-_

 

She was in the body of a fifteen year old huntress, and she was crying. She didn't know what her worse case scenario had been, but this was worse.

 

“You too, huh? The airships are just the worst, right?” a high pitched voice came from her side. Cinder pulled her aching head out of the can to glare at the boy with as much venom as she could muster. _I recognize him, he's the Nikos girl's partner. Oh, I bet he was just devastated when I killed his little girlfriend._

 

Not that it mattered now, whatever the hell was going on.

 

He shied back a bit at her glare. "I'm Jaune, and, um, are you okay?"

 

Cinder spat into the trash can and ripped herself into a standing position, wanting to reach out and strangle the boy as she came up just to his nose. "I don't remember giving _you_ permission to talk to me," she growled, wiping her eyes and stalking back to the mirror.

 

_Weak. Weak. You're fucking weak. You were never supposed to cry, and here we are. I don't know what kind of a sick game this is, but I'm ready for it to be over._

 

Pushing the desperation and fear down, Cinder cleared her mind as best she could. No, she wasn't going to think about that boy's hurt and offended expression as she had ripped into him. Instead, she decided to go over every damn thing she knew about Ruby Rose, because impossibly, that was the situation which she found herself in.

 

 _She's got the flattest fucking chest ever, and she's short as hell, and she's wearing this_ stupid _combat skirt... I mean, come on! Could she look any more like a girl? I'm twenty seven, I should have left this behind in combat school!_

 

She stopped thinking for a moment and swayed in place. _If I'm on a plane... With kids... Then I'm going to combat school. And if I'm going to combat school..._

 

Ozpin.

 

Oh, she was royally screwed.

 

_Damn, I got sidetracked. No time to dwell on that, let's see... She has that giant scythe of hers, faced that. She can't fight for shit in heels, clearly she should have practiced more... She gets top fighting grades but does mediocre in her academics, darling Roman calls her a pain in the ass. She certainly does have a knack for being in the right place at the right time. Qrow Branwen is her uncle, and Yang Xiao Long is her sister-_

 

Cinder stopped short and looked around. She caught a glance of bright yellow hair on the other side of the aircraft, and narrowed her eyes. _No way am I facing her yet._

 

_What else... Her semblance is speed, which will definitely come in handy, but Roman tells that she's useless without her scythe. If I've truly lost the powers of the fall maiden, that means I'm going to be vulnerable. If- If I'm truly going to be stuck like this, then I'll need to remedy that - fast._

 

What the hell was she going to do?

 

She was Cinder Fall, who had single handedly plotted and brought about the downfall of Beacon Academy and it's headmaster Ozpin! She was a force to be _reckoned_ with, or-

 

For fifteen long years, she had devoted her life to becoming strong, to becoming powerful, and now what? All of her hard work, her greatest accomplishments, they had all been replaced with a fifteen year old brat with a scythe.

 

Biting back another scream of frustration, she slammed her forehead against the glass. _Remember your coping mechanisms... Remember your coping mechanisms..._

 

Burning shit? Not anymore.

 

Killing Grimm? Not here.

 

Killing henchmen? Well, that blond boy was appealing but she would never be able to show her face around Beacon again. Either that, or jail for the rest of her life.

 

No, but she could still plot her revenge. She could figure out who had put her here, and start the slow climb back to where she had been, and when she found them...

 

Cinder let herself daydream about all of the gory ways she would murder fate before the realization sunk in yet again, like a victim stabbed in the chest over and over.

 

_I was on top of Beacon tower, which I destroyed in MY assault, and now I'm in Ruby Rose's body on an airship about a perfectly functional Vale!_

 

_What the fuck!?_

 

For the first time, she became aware of the crimson weapon strapped to her belt. Unbuckling it, she held it out and admired the craftsmanship. _Y'know, for all that Rose was a fucking annoying bitch, she had some nice taste in weapons._ While she couldn't wait to get her dual blades back – _gone with my maiden powers, I guess –_ she could at least settle for lopping people's heads off with the oversized blade.

 

Yeah. That would be nice.

 

The shotgun swung as she spun it around, experimentally clicking the scope open. Looking back out over Vale, she took aim at where she knew Roman's old warehouse was, appreciatively noting the clips of red dust at her waist. There was something disturbingly natural about holding the weapon, the even heft built for these hands that weren't hers. The more she poked at it, the more she couldn't help but to admire the craftsmanship that had clearly gone into it.

 

_“Welcome to Beacon Academy! Please disembark and make your way to the entrance ceremony.”_

 

_Entrance ceremony?_

 

There should not have been an entrance ceremony in May.

 

Cinder's eyes rested on the holoscreen, which was showing the VNN across the ship's interior. She narrowed her eyes at it, a deep rage stirring in her chest as she had to jump to make it out over the other kids on the plane. No, there was no mistake. The date read September seventeenth.

 

_Okay, time travel. I went back in time nine months. That makes complete absolu- What the FUCK?_

 

She had traveled backwards in time, into the body of a fifteen year old huntress in training, to attend a combat school by a man who no doubt would kill her if he found her.

 

_Well, my acting skills better be really fucking good, because otherwise Ozpin'll have his way with me and I'll be dead._

 

_Why?_

 

She didn't have the time to think about it; she was already getting swept up into the crowd. She bit back a curse as she was jostled around. _I am_ respected! _I should be burning these kids to a crisp right now!_

 

 _You are one of these kids right now,_ a vicious voice reminded her in the back of her mind.

 

_Yeah, like I can explain how or why the hell that happened._

 

It was a nice day, but Cinder had her sights on the glistening, massive, _perfectly functional_ academy directly in front of her. The CCT spiraled into the sky, the clocktower at the top tolling four o'clock in the afternoon. Ozpin was probably watching her right now and laughing – had she really beat him in the vault? Did he know about this? In fact, it probably was his fault and now he was just playing her like a fiddle.

 

_What if Salem doesn't know?_

 

Cinder didn't have the time to contemplate that tantalizing thought before an arm wrapped around her shoulder and pulled her into a tight hug. It took all of her self control to remain calm and not flinch away as Yang Xiao Long said, “Oh my god, I can't believe my little sis is coming to Beacon with me!”

 

Okay, moment of truth. How the hell was Ruby Rose supposed to act?

 

Before she had silenced Emerald's commentary, but now she welcomed it. _“How can she always be so happy and enthusiastic?”_

 

Happy and enthusiastic. Cinder was good at a lot of things, but that wasn't one of them. She had to get out of that hug, though. Ducking under Yang's arm, she decided it was easier to tell the truth, or part of it at least. “Neither can I!”

 

She was cringing. She was cringing so hard, at her girly squeal and her fake smile and the fact that the stupid bimbo got giant boobs and she didn't. _What is my life? Fuck you, Ozpin._

 

“Wait, Ruby, are you okay?” Her violet eyes sparkled with concern, and Cinder sighed.

 

_Yeah, I'm already blowing it. Screw happy and enthusiastic, as long as I'm not downright bitchy I should be okay, right? I don't have to pretend like I'm happy when I'm not._

 

“I, um, threw up on the airship?” The vile taste in her mouth wasn't even that bad, compared to all of the other insane bullshit happening around her.

 

Yang's expression changed in an instant, and she laughed. “Since when do you get airsick? Maybe I should start calling you Vomit Girl, you and Vomit Boy over there would make a great couple.”

 

_She's mocking me._

 

“ _Never_ call me Vomit Girl, okay?” Cinder growled, only to gape as Yang rolled her eyes at her and walked away.

 

“Got it, Vomit Girl. Now, do you need me to walk you to the bathroom?”

 

Her eyes flashed as Yang sashayed away. _Did she just ignore me?!_ “No! I just-”

 

“Ooh, I know!” Yang dug into her pocket and pulled out a small cardboard box. She threw it to Cinder, who caught it out of instinct. “Cinnamon gum, your favorite.” Her expression softened, and she said, “Hey, if you don't feel good again, tell me, okay? I'm gonna go find my friends now, so... bye!”

 

Cinder gawked at Yang as she ran over to another group of people and happily walked towards the school with them. Her mind drawing a complete blank, she reached into the box and pulled out two pieces of gum. Popping them into her mouth, she hummed as the spice spilled out over her tongue.

 

_Ruby's favorite flavor of gum is cinnamon too, huh… That's a weird coincidence._

 

The box crumpled in her fist. She had just been _ignored_ like a child! She was never ignored! Nobody was allowed to make fun of her like that! She had made that clear ages ago, after-

 

_I can't make that stupid bitch pay either, because she's Ruby's fucking sister!_

 

She wanted to scream, like she hadn't screamed in ages. _I killed your friend, huh? I killed Pyrrha Nikos, how do you like that? Do you even know her yet? Do you even care?_

 

It hadn't even been fifteen minutes, and she already wanted to destroy shit. Glory, if she didn't go back to her normal body soon, there would be hell for somebody to pay.

 

Preoccupied by her thoughts, she didn't notice the trolley in front of her until it was already too late.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Slowly, Cinder turned to glower at Weiss Schnee. “Wouldn't you like to know?”

 

The other girl's eyes narrowed. “You're insane! Do you have any idea how much damage you could have just caused?”

 

_Nice and energetic. Nice and energetic. Cinder Fall, you're going to be nice and energetic if it kills you._

 

Yeah, fat chance that was going to happen.

 

“Look, Schnee, maybe if you had been a bit more careful with your precious little dust crystals, this wouldn't be a problem,” she snarled, getting to her feet. She was still fucking shorter than the other girl!

 

Cinder had never been good at keeping her temper at check, and this was _not_ helping.

 

“So, you do know who I am. What I fail to understand is how I am the problem when you're the one who walked into my cart!”

 

“I think you should stay out of my way, for your benefit," she snapped, turning away from Weiss. _You fucking idiot, why are you inflating her ego? Was she always this much of a prissy bitch? I remember her being nice and reserved._

 

"What, are you just going to walk away without helping me?"

 

Cinder turned back around and mimicked Weiss' pose. The Schnee heiress had one hand on her hip, her skirt showing off her long legs as she expectantly glared at her. "What, did I make you angry?"

 

_God, I sound like a petulant child._

 

Weiss held her gaze for a moment, then her gaze fell and she looked down at the ground. "Well, you're a real piece of work, aren't you?"

 

Cinder sneered at her, a brief tug of victory fluttering through her stomach as she watched her kneel down and pull her suitcases into a pile. "Don't you have a butler to do that for you?"

 

Weiss flinched, and her grip tightened on her handle as she redoubled her efforts. Cinder reveled in finally being taller than somebody and in the reaction she had caused, before she remembered what she was supposed to be doing.

 

_Damn, I just failed nice and enthusiastic._

 

Weiss didn't look up as she knelt down and picked up a suitcase. "Are you going to dump all of my dust on the ground too?"

 

"I'm helping you, in case you missed it."

 

"Why?" Weiss turned to look at her, and Cinder got a good look at her face for the first time. A thin scar ran down across her eyebrow and her eye, and her light silvery hair was tightly pulled back into a careful ponytail. "You seemed perfectly content to leave my stuff on the ground before, since you obviously don't like me."

 

Wasn't this girl Ruby's partner or something?

 

Ignoring her anger at having to be on her knees, she said, “It's not exactly like you were endearing yourself to me, princess-”

 

“Heiress.”

 

“Whatever. I never said I wasn't going to help you, did I?” _Of course, that's what I intended to do. How the hell did this girl get me to come back?_ “What do you even need this many suitcases for?”

 

Weiss stood up and lifted a pile of four suitcases onto her trolley. “It's important to have clothes for all occasions,” she said, obviously repeating something that had been said to her. Digging her slender fingers under her pile of suitcases, Cinder activated her maiden powers to stand and-

 

Nope. Ruby Rose wasn't the fall maiden.

 

Standing up took more effort than she liked, and so did carrying the pile to the trolley. Smirking at Weiss, she said, “Well, aren't you going to thank me?”

 

“Excuse me?” Weiss stared at her incredulously.

 

“I mean, it just would have been so _easy_ to let one of your precious crystals slip out and explode, no?” She was at home here, twisting the knife deeper as a confused look crossed Weiss' face. “I might have not even helped you at all.” It took a moment for her to realize that Weiss seemed to be genuinely confused about what she was saying, with the undertones of anger that had been present the entire discussion.

 

“Well, I'm sorry I asked,” Weiss muttered, turning back to Cinder as she walked away. “Why are you even here, if you're going to be such a bitch to everyone? This is a school for _teams_ of huntresses, and I pity whoever has to work with you.”

 

Weiss was almost out of earshot when she said, “Not like your team will have it any better,” just loud enough for the heiress to put her head down and walk away faster towards the luggage holding area.

 

Why did the last word always feel so hollow?

 

For that matter, why had she even helped her in the first place. _The way she withdrew when you went at her._ No, that couldn't be it. She was playing a role, admittedly poorly, but actresses didn't get in character in thirty minutes either. Helping bitchy rich girls was a step in the right direction, right?

 

_Why am I even here, huh? You're right, Schnee, I don't have a fucking clue. I'm supposed to be lording over the conquered ruins of Vale, not running around knocking over luggage in Ruby Fucking Rose's body! I think I deserve to take it out on somebody, so maybe you should apologize for getting in my way._

 

She felt so empty inside, without the fires of her power.

 

_She flinched. She was so easy to read, and people like that are the easiest to hurt and manipulate._

 

_Why did she have to care?_

 

Why did she care? Why was she here?

 

_What the FUCK?_

 

Cinder drifted towards the school, glaring at the groups of students around her. Not for the first time since _it_ had happened, she wished Emerald was at her side. She hated to admit it, but she really missed her henchman, missed her voice of reason and calming hand on her shoulder. At least if she was here, she might have half a chance at feeling less alone.

 

This path was dotted by rubble. This path swarmed with Beowulves and Ursa. This path didn't sing with conversation under the midday sun.

 

Everything was wrong, and she didn't have a clue as to fixing it.

 

The crowd had already gathered around the stage by the time Cinder made it to the opening ceremony amphitheater. She zoned out as people jostled around her, fighting to keep herself calm. Slowly, surely, her anger and shock were morphing into panic, and she didn't let herself panic. Ever.

 

_Yeah, because this has been a real great day for nevers, Fall. Look at you, crying and puking into an airship trashcan. Fucking pathetic._

 

More than anything, she wanted to not be at a combat school for uppity young hunters like Weiss Schnee. Unfortunately for her, she didn't seem to have that sort of luxury.

 

Until she knew what was going on, she was stuck pretending to be Ruby Rose under Ozpin's thumb. Speaking of the devil…

 

“I'll… keep this brief.”

 

Ozpin looked out over the assembled crowd, peering over the rims of his wiry glasses. Less than an hour ago, she and him had collided, their magic driving them deep into the ground before she stripped his aura away and burnt him alive. She could still feel his skin crisping under her watchful hands, so aware of how utterly outmatched against him her current situation made her.

 

_He can't know. I can never let him find out._

 

Ozpin finished his speech and nodded to them. “Good luck, and welcome to Beacon.”

 

Cinder's fingernails bit her hand, and she narrowed her eyes. She didn't know why or how she was here, but she would not give up her power so easily. She would not let Ozpin win this game, and she wasn't about to give up on her goals.

 

She could pretend to be Ruby Rose. From there, well… Who knows what opportunities might arise for her to strike?

 

* * *

 

Petals in the Ash

 

A Fanfiction By Allison Illuminated

 

Chapter Publish Date: 1/11/18

 

* * *

 

**[A/N] Welcome to the world of Petals in the Ash! This will be a character driven fic focused on Cinder, Weiss, and their relationship, with a nice dose of time travel on the side. I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, and remember to review and tell me your thoughts!**

 

**Signing off, Allie**


	2. Who are you?  Who am I?

Chapter Two: Who are you? Who am I?

 

* * *

 

Petals in the Ash

 

A Fanfiction by Allison Illuminated

 

Chapter Publish Date: 1/22/18

 

* * *

 

Yang had called it a suitcase, but the oversized duffel stood out like a sore thumb. Lumpy and mottled, the coarse fabric had a rough stylized rose spray painted on the front. Zippers criss-crossed the side, and a leg from a pair of sweatpants stuck out the top.

 

Cinder glared at the bag, her aura flickering around her as the other students hurried away from her. Of course. Of course this is what Ruby Rose’s bag looks like. This is just begging for me to incinerate it and this whole damn school with it.

 

She thought about walking away, but the vile taste in her mouth was too disgusting to ignore.

 

Steeling her resolve, she marched to the bag and pulled down the zipper to the main compartment. She blinked as a handful of gears and half a pistol fell out. After a second, she knelt down and rummaged through the compartment, her disbelief grew as she found nothing but weapon parts and tools.

 

_...she’s obsessed. She made the scythe herself, didn’t she? What am I getting myself into?_

 

Ignoring the growing dread, she flipped through the last couple of pockets. Two had nothing but ammo and dust, one had an assortment of screwdrivers, and the last had a blade sharpening kit.

 

“You found your stuff?”

 

Cinder spun around to see Yang behind her with an orange suitcase and backpack in tow. _Why does she get a normal suitcase and I have this shit?_ “Hard not to.” Yang grinned and turned away, and Cinder wrestled with her ego, which was screaming how she didn’t need help from some stupid bimbo. _That’s bullshit, and if Rose didn’t pack a toothbrush I swear…_ “Hey, um, Yang.”

 

Saying the other girl’s name felt like ash on her tongue. _I would never have spoken to her before. She served her purpose when she fought Mercury._ The blonde had done her part in her plans, so she supposed she could treat her… decently.

 

“What’s up, Rubes?”

 

She laughed nervously, immediately hating herself for it. _How can her stupid voice be so high?_ “Do you remember where I put my toothbrush?”

 

“I dunno, Dad helped you pack, not me. Maybe in your backpack?”

 

“Thanks.”

 

So there was a backpack somewhere here too. Seeing how discussing the duffel was, she-

 

_Dad helped me pack?_

 

Ruby had a father. A living father.

 

_Cinder remembered it in flashes. The heat. The burning smell. The mud and the pouring rain. Footsteps, turning back to a house_ _in flames_ _. The Grimm. She-_

 

_Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it!_

 

Digging her fingernails into her palm, Cinder sank to the floor and wrenched her expression into a smirk. Her hands arced back, pulling her shaking nerves tight as she squeezed her eyes shut.

 

This nightmare was only three hours old, and already it was stripping away the careful atmosphere of self control she had spent _years_ building up. She wouldn't let herself think about any of that. She was going to take deep breaths, get back on her feet, and brush her teeth. Easy.

 

Ruby's backpack was _slightly_ lower key than her duffel. Made of the same material with the same emblem spray painted onto the front, it was also tiny. Cinder knelt down and opened the sole compartment, staring at the mess of crumpled clothes and toiletries. The mess triggering her perfectionism, she yanked the mess of clothes out of the bag and started to neatly roll things up.

 

Two pairs of sweatpants. Five pairs of underwear and two bras, all disgustingly plain cotton. One pair of pyjamas, an extra pair of socks, two casual shirts, and that was it. Wrapped up in all of it was a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste, along with a brush.

 

Cinder stared at the disheveled clothing around her. Plain. Unflattering. _Sweatpants_. "No. I refuse to live like this," she whispered to herself. "I will burn each and every one of you to crispy threads and dump you off the edge of Beacon cliff."

 

Hell, she would rather go shopping with Schnee than wear this shit around. At least the combat skirt was making an attempt at being cool.

 

Shaking her head, she pulled the bag towards her. _I don't care if I have to pretend to be Ruby Rose. I will be making changes, and Blondie'll just have to go with it. I don't need a fucking sister. Besides, if things ever go back to normal I'm sure Rose'll thank me for fixing her abhorrent fashion sense, right before I fry her alive and send her corpse to her- to her father._

 

Pulling the backpack closer to her, she peered inside and pulled out the remaining things. There wasn't much – a notebook and a diary (that would probably come in hand), another pair of old stained underwear, and a picture frame.

 

Cinder blinked at the woman who stared back at her through the picture frame. She wore a white cloak, and her silver eyes seemed to sparkle through the clouded plastic as she cradled a baby in her arms. Curious, she turned the frame over and opened the back. Sure enough, there was a small written note in the corner:

 

_"I miss you, Mom. Love~ Ruby"_

 

_Oh._

 

Cinder ignored her clenching throat, placing the frame back in the bag and hurriedly putting the clothes back away. She felt like she was intruding, somehow; everything had suddenly become more personal as she realized just how immersed in Ruby's life she had become. _Unless she's hiding in this mind or trapped somehow, Ruby Rose doesn't exist anymore._

 

_I am supposed to be Ruby Rose. And Ruby Rose has a sister, and a father but no mother, and loves weapons and cinnamon gum and-_

 

She had an entire lifetime of expectations on her, and she didn't know the first thing about Ruby's life. How was she supposed to function?

 

_I'm not Ruby Rose, so how am I supposed to be her?_

 

In her panic, she had accidentally packed her toothbrush away. Now, she rummaged back through the freshly folded clothes and yanked the toiletries out before making a beeline for the girl's washroom with the pack slung over her shoulder. Going straight for the sink, she jabbed the brush into her mouth violently, gagging slightly as she spat. Water span down the sink bowl, the cold water running down her hand as she stared at the mirror.

 

On the tower, the light Ruby had attacked her with... It had come from her eyes...

 

Cinder blinked as she realized she had been staring into Ruby's silver eyes. How creepy was this, staring entranced at a _child_. How creepy was this, that she was the child? Was she staring at her own eyes? Was she going to wake up in Salem's domain, all of this just a nightmare left behind? Was she dead, and this was some cruel trick the universe had decided to pull on her before she drifted off into oblivion?

 

What if Ruby was in her body? _Oh, hell no!_

 

"Um, excuse me? Are you... okay?"

 

Cinder turned around to come face to face with the last person she had wanted to see at that exact moment. Concern sparkled in Pyrrha Nikos' emerald green eyes as she studied her. There was no arrow in her chest. She had been ash, and now she was in front of her, very much alive, as if her existence had been reinstated just to mock Cinder.

 

_Think! If this is the first day of school, and she's Mistrali, then… Ruby probably wouldn't have known her. So, I just have to pretend to meet her for the first time, and not let her know that I'm mentally incinerating her._

 

 _Happy and energetic._ She loved Emerald, but she might need a new mantra – this one clearly wasn't working.

 

It took her a second, but Cinder shoved her violent thoughts of revenge down and came up with the most innocent reason she could think of – at this rate she was actually going to get stuck with _Vomit Girl_ for a nickname, wasn't she? “Sorry, I threw up on the airship. That's all.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Cinder was squeezing her tube of toothpaste so hard that a small pile had accumulated in the sink. Turning the water on, she rinsed it away and took a deep breath. _See, you can have a reasonable conversation with these kids and not try to kill them. I can do this!_

 

“So… what's your name?”

 

 _Fucking hell she's still talking to me!_ When Pyrrha didn't walk away after she ignored her for a moment, she mumbled, “I, um, my name is C- …Ruby.”

 

_Real cool and confident there, huh?_ _Look at you, you're acting like the pathetic fifteen year old you look like._

 

Her eye twitched, and she spun back around and stood up straight. How did the Mistrali champion still dwarf her? She had been on her knees in front of her dying! She had looked down at her and burnt her away, and now she was the one being stared down at with a mild look of polite interest.

 

_Wonder if Yang will notice if I start taking her friends into the emerald forest and start using them as Grimm bait…_

 

And she had called her Yang again.

 

Why was she even trying to pretend like she had any control over her situation at the moment? Maybe she could transfer to Haven and explain the situation to Leo…

 

“Well, it's nice to meet you, Ruby,” Pyrrha said, giving her a smile that never reached her eyes and holding out your hand.

 

_Well, she's miserable. Hell, I bet half of these baby hunters are depressed out of their minds and too dense to do something about it. Bet Ruby never would have noticed that._

 

...she was pretending not to know Nikos, right?

 

Cinder grimaced as she shook her hand. This girl was not, and would never be, her equal. “What's your name?” The question felt flat, most likely because she hadn't asked it in ages; Cinder Fall didn't ask for names, she was told them.

 

“You don't know me?” There was a flash of surprise, and the hint of resignation vanished as she reconsidered Cinder in a new light. “I'm sorry, my name's Pyrrha. I just assumed, since you gave me that look when you saw me...”

 

 _Well, now she's never going to leave me alone unless I'm a total asshole to her – I mean, that would be fun, but that would be the end of my cover._ Casting for something non-incriminating to say, she settled on saying “Today… could have gone better.”

 

Biggest understatement of her life.

 

Pyrrha smiled again, this time genuine as Cinder pushed away from the sink and awkwardly stood holding her arm with her other hand. “I'm sure that nobody will remember what happened on the first day, so there's no need to worry about it. Do you want to walk back to the great hall with me?”

 

 _So diplomatic,_ Cinder couldn't help to think as she seized her up. _Seriously, what the hell is this? I killed Pyrrha Nikos, and three hours later I'm exchanging pleasantries with her in the Beacon girl's bathroom!_

 

Still, there was something about the hopeful look in her eyes…

 

No, that wasn't it. Having friends was going to be a necessary evil if she was going to pull this off, and she much preferred formal Pyrrha Nikos over Blonde Bimbo or Ice Bitch.

 

Once again, she found herself wishing for Emerald at her side. That was impossible, of course, if she was really in the past and not some twisted nightmare dimension (she wouldn't put it past Salem) – her favorite servant would probably at her penthouse right now, or perhaps monitoring at the warehouse.

 

Nevertheless… “Of course.” Cinder had dealt with enough sleazy businessmen in her time to erect a facade of basic courtesy.

 

Pyrrha's face fell slightly, but she nodded and they exited the bathroom. She puzzled that over for a moment; why did addressing Pyrrha the same way she had talked to her make her less happy? _Let's see, she probably has to talk to people like that all the time at her tournaments, right? Those aren't cheap pajamas either; her parents must be loaded, then._ _She was surprised when I didn't know her name, too… She must want to be informal but isn't comfortable enough to show it._ “You seem nervous.”

 

Cinder _prided_ herself on her ability to read other people. In her line of work and with her ambitions, knowing intentions and secrets was the difference between life and death, and she had always been a survivor. _Kids are so easy to read, it's funny. They just wear their emotions on their face, even the ones who try to hide it the most. Especially them._ The flicker of regret she had been feeling since ripping on Weiss was back again, and Cinder kept her face neutral as she imagined all the gory ways she could kill her. _Especially her._

 

She didn't miss the glimpse of surprise then gratitude as they walked into the hall towards a tall pile of sleeping bags. “Well, you're the first person who's actually wanted to talk to me, so I suppose a little bit. Vale and Mistral are very different, after all.”

 

She nodded absentmindedly, staving of the rush of memories. How long would it have taken her to burn the school down if she just set the wall of bags before her on fire? “The upper district is, um, nice?” _Well, aren't you just a great conversationalist._ She would have liked nothing more than to set the whole district on fire and let it burn.

 

Although, if she was being honest, she felt like setting all of Remnant on fire right now, so that probably wasn't saying much.

 

“Well, it certainly is beautiful. When I was younger, I loved walking down Skyfall Boulevard and seeing the lilacs in the spring...”

 

 _Well, I wasn't wrong about her being rich._ If only everyone here wasn't so cheerful and innocent all the time. That was far and away what she had hated the most undercover; there were no disillusioned warriors or kids of the street – Beacon was a spawning ground for the rich, the idealistic, and the naive. As far as she could tell, the only kids who didn't come from money were that Ren kid and his insane girlfriend, but even they seemed to be rather well off.

 

_This place is rotting from the inside out, and none of them notice a thing._

 

She must have spaced out, because Pyrrha poked her in the arm. Startled, she flinched back and brought her hands out to her side to summon – the fall maiden powers were still gone. She felt _naked_ in this combat skirt. How did Ruby feel comfortable walking around looking like a twelve year old? At least Schnee's combat skirt made her look her age! “Ruby?”

 

Was that a hint of suspicion? Pity? Either way, Cinder dug her fingernail into her palm and returned to a normal standing position, furiously cursing herself for her lack of self awareness and her stupidity. _If she had been an assassin, I would be dead right now._ “I'm sorry,” _I don't need your pity,_ “what were you asking?”

 

“I asked you why you want to become a huntress?”

 

The words stopped Cinder dead in her tracks. _Why did Ruby want to become a huntress?_ Out of all the damn questions she could have asked, she just had to choose the hardest one. Why was time travel a thing?

 

No, really, why was time travel a thing? No matter which way she thought about it, Cinder couldn't come up with a more rational explanation than the gods were punishing her for her power.

 

“Um…” Why would Ruby Rose want to be a huntress? She didn't even know who Ruby really had been, beyond what Emerald and Roman had told her. She was idealistic, maybe… _Hopefully this is good enough._ “I want to get stronger so I can… protect people.”

 

 _Yeah, that sounded real convincing._ At least the first part had been true; she wasn't about to let her situation stop her from getting stronger. She would become powerful, with or without the maiden's powers.

 

Pyrrha stared at her for a moment, and Cinder got the uncomfortable feeling that she had seen straight through her bland answer. “Um, Ruby? I think someone is calling you.”

 

Cinder blinked; sure enough, Yang was wildly yelling Ruby's name and waving from across the hall. _Nope, that's supposed to be my name now. Note to self: pay attention when people say Ruby._ “Oh, right. Well, um...” There was an awkward pause as she once again tried to think through how she was supposed to pretend to have a normal conversation as Ruby Rose with the girl she had just murdered. “I, um, that's… Yang, my… sister, so, um, goodnight?”

 

 _Brutally awkward, that_ just _the way I like it. I guess confidence comes with puberty…_

 

Pyrrha faked a smile, which was so obviously pained that it made her want to cringe. “Well… good night, then.”

 

Cinder nodded, frowning as she walked away. She glanced back, sighed as she saw Pyrrha watching her walk away with her lone sleeping bag clutched to her chest, and started walking back. _She looks like a lost puppy begging for treats. She's supposed to be the best fighter of her generation? Are you kidding me? She better be grateful that I'm letting her be friends with me. She should be grateful she's even alive. If I had my powers right now, well…_

 

_Killing Ozpin wasn't even really that hard. Killing her? It wasn't even worth my time._

 

“I thought you were going to sleep with your sister?” Pyrrha said as she walked back up to her, and Cinder rolled her eyes and nodded towards Yang.

 

“Look, if we're going to be… friends,” Cinder said, almost at the verge of laughter at how absurd she sounded, “then come and sleep with us.”

 

“Really?” she exclaimed. _God, she's predictable._ “I would love to, thank you.”

 

Yang stared at Ruby as she led Pyrrha toward her sleeping bag. “Ruby? Are- What- Did you make a friend?”

 

Cinder froze as Pyrrha stepped forwards and offered Yang her hand. “Hello there! I'm Pyrrha.”

 

 _What? Why does she sound like she doesn't believe me?_ Slowly getting the feeling that she had screwed up already, she asked, “Why, is that bad?”

 

“No!” Yang laughed, shaking her head. “I just never though my antisocial weapon obsessed little sis would even look at anyone here, let alone make friends so fast.”

 

_Antisocial._

 

_Ruby Rose is antisocial._

 

 _You have_ got _to be kidding me! I could have just ignored her instead of trying to be nice that whole time? Fuck!_

 

Shakily, Cinder laughed as Pyrrha beamed at her and Yang pulled her into a tight hug. “Well, you know me, just _full_ of surprises.”

 

Clearly, Ruby Rose was a more complicated problem than she had originally thought, and if she didn't figure it out fast, she was _screwed_.

 

* * *

 

“Um, hello!”

 

Blake Belladonna looked up from her book and stared at the blond boy who had spoken to her. “Hi? Can I help you?”

 

“I, well, you see, I was kinda having a hard time falling asleep so I was looking for somebody to talk to,” Jaune stammered, scratching his jaw in uncertainty. “But I don't really know anybody and I saw you, and I figured that you were awake, and, um, not talking, so I thought, well, might as well go talk to her, so here I am?”

 

“Right...”

 

“Right.” Jaune leaned against the wall and slid to the ground beside her, and Blake closed her book and sighed. _I guess I'm not reading right now._ “Um, I'm Jaune. Jaune Arc. Short, sweet, rolls of the tongue, ladies love it.”

 

“Do they?”

 

Jaune's expression was unfazed. “Don't know, never tried it before. My sister said that was the best way to talk to girls.”

 

Blake snorted and rolled her eyes at his oblivious confidence, setting her novel aside and turning to look into Jaune's blue eyes. “You don't seem like you're going to go away, are you?”

 

His gaze fell, and he pressed his hands against the cold stone. “I don't know, do you want me to?”

 

 _Well, he certainly seems a lot nicer that Schnee and cloak girl did._ All to conscious of her ears twitching slightly, she shrugged and hugged her knees to her chest. “I don't really mind, I wasn't reading very fast anyways.”

 

Jaune gave her a big genuine smile, and she couldn't help but smile back. There was something infectious about the other boy, and she had to admit now that she was talking it was nice to not be completely alone, even if just for a moment. “So, what's your name?”

 

“Blake Belladonna.” It was easier to say her last name here, knowing that it came without the stigma of being the daughter of the former leader of the White Fang. “You said something about a sister?”

 

Jaune and Blake talked for a while, passing the time as the rest of the prospective students snored around them. She learned that he had seven sisters, was from a relatively rural part of Anima, and liked playing the guitar. After a while, he yawned and said, “Alright, I think I'm going to sleep.”

 

He rose to his feet, and Blake looked up at him as she picked her book back up and set it down in her lap. “Hey, Jaune? Where were you going to sleep?”

 

Jaune flushed and pointed to a dark alcove in the corner of the room, far away from the majority of the bags. “I- I know my parents told me to be social, but- There was this mean girl on the airship, and then I saw her when I was looking for a spot, and I panicked so now I'm over there...”

 

“No, actually that's perfect. I'm not going to sleep yet, but a quiet corner sounds a lot better than snoring like that guy over there.” She pointed at a guy with orange hair who was sleeping very noisily on a stack of three sleeping bags.

 

“Oh, okay. Well… good night then. It was nice to meet you.”

 

Jaune grinned, then turned and walked off towards the corner. “You too!” Blake called after him, before opening her book back up with a smile. _He seems like a nice enough guy._

 

_The Tale of Two Souls… I wonder what it would be like to be trapped in somebody else's body?_

 

* * *

 

Cinder took a deep breath as the fabric walls of the sleeping bag pressed down around her. _Calm down… It's just a sleeping bag…_

 

Yeah, right.

 

Biting back a scream of frustration, she thrashed her arms forwards. _How the hell did I get stuck in a sleeping bag!?_

 

She had just been curious whether she could fit inside, since she was so much smaller than usual. The last time she had slept in a sleeping bag, her head and arms had awkwardly stuck out. The answer – Ozpin's sleeping bags were oversized and she did _not_ like small spaces.

 

Finally, she broke out of the bag and took a heaving gulp of fresh air, or as fresh as a room with thirty teenagers in it got. Her eyes felt heavy, she pushed that feeling as far down as it could go. _Haven't I fucked my life up enough today? I woke up ready to destroy Vale and take the relic, and now I'm here in the body of a fifteen year old girl._

 

_Who the hell is Ruby Rose?_

 

A memory rose in her mind – a black journal at the bottom of Ruby's bag. Reaching over and dragging the rough fabric towards her, she rooted through the main pocket and yanked the book out. Turning on the scroll's flashlight, she opened the book to the first entry.

 

_September 27_

 

_Today was crazy! I was looking at the new Captain Dust comics, and then out of nowhere these bad guys came and attacked me! So I was like super awesome and beat them all with Crescent Rose. Well, all of them except for this weird guy in a hat with red hair, he got away with the evil fire lady and then…_

 

Cinder's thoughts drifted off as she read Ruby's rambling account about Glynda and Ozpin and cookies. _Evil fire lady, huh…_

 

She had known she was a psychotic evil bitch for a long time – that was never the question. No, what she wondered sometimes was whether that was a bad thing or not. Most times it was easy to dismiss the punitive moral judgments of others. But tonight…

 

 _Pyrrha Nikos was dead. I killed her. And now she's not, and somehow we started a friendship and she's_ nice…

 

Cinder hated nice people. She hated naivette, hated how people were too lazy to educate themselves…

 

She had hated Pyrrha Nikos. She had hated Ruby Rose.

 

This… Whatever the hell was happening, it was complicating things, and she hated complications.

 

Pyrrha's red hair spilled over her pillow, her chest rising and falling softly. Peaceful. There was no way to describe the scene around her besides peaceful.

 

_It's hard to believe that I'm going to Beacon. It's been my dream for so long, and now it's actually coming true. I'll write more tomorrow, but I want to work on Crescent for a bit before I go to sleep, so later!_

 

 _Ruby._ Next to her name, she had scrawled a heart and a smiley face. Flipping the page, Cinder stared at the blank paper in confusion before realizing that she had meant today, and Ruby would not be writing another entry.

 

_Happy and energetic, huh?_

 

Cinder let the book cover close as her head drifted down to her pillow, her mind slowing down as she puzzled over Ruby on endless repeat. Who was she? How was she going to figure it out?

 

_Ruby, idiot… How am I supposed to figure out anything about you if you only left me one journal entry?_

 

_Maybe this was all a dream. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow in my penthouse, with my powers and Emerald and Mercury…_

 

Slowly, Cinder drifted off into troubled sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [A/N] I didn't expect to have this done for another couple of days, but I had a flash of inspiration and ended up finishing the whole thing today. Thank you for the amazing response on chapter one, you guys rock! Your feedback means a lot to me :) I'm going to try to update around every other week, but I don't want to set myself a hard deadline so that I can keep my focus on re:Bound.
> 
> Signing out, Allie


	3. I Am Not Innocent

Chapter Three: I Am Not Innocent

* * *

Petals in the Ash

A Fanfiction by Allison Illuminated

Chapter Publish Date: 2/19/18

* * *

_Silence crested into gentle waves along the rocky crags of Vale's northern coast. A piece of burning wood tumbled from the sky and plunged into the ashen foam, mirroring the black sky above. Men and women had worked for decades to erect their town, tight stone casing protecting them from the bitter frosts and biting wind. Everything looked to the future, budding in spite of death and Grimm._

_Now that flower blossomed, the seed of inferno in the town center exploding into vibrant petals of dust and sparks._

_She was God, she was destruction, rising into the air as the town disintegrated beneath her. Some had managed to escape the blast radius – drawing her bow, she slowly picked them off as the forest began to burn. The fire surrounded her, became her, consumed her. She had been trapped and this was her freedom, so why did it all feel so empty?_

Cinder woke up in a deep sweat, gasping as she forced her eyes shut. The softness deceived her, cotton caressing her in a cozily suffocating embrace. An illusion, a nightmare, a dream- She would open her eyes to the fire, she had to, everything she had worked for and dreamed about-

Too tired to stay asleep, her eyes slipped open. Dawn seeped through grandiose windows, pushing the shadows to the ceiling. Short hair had drifted into her face as she slept, sending black streaks across her vision as she watched the gentle rise and fall of red and gold hair with a blank stare. Quietly, she got to her feet.

The marble was cold against her feet, and so was the concrete. The brisk September air burned her throat and sent shivers down her spine. She couldn't handle being numb, not as she walked below Beacon's arches towards a low set building to the east of the great hall. Blush crept to her cheeks from the pallid cool; she pulled her arms tight against her chest to hide the emblazoned heart on Ruby's pajamas from the isolation around her.

She was  _cold._

Slipping into the dorm wing, warmth rushed her. Overwhelmed, Cinder broke into a dead sprint, then broke away into a cloud of rose petals on some alien instinct unknown to her. Stopping short, she burst into a familiar room.

No lights. No possessions. Bare unmade mattresses. Maybe some part of her still hoped to see Emerald or Mercury; at this point, she didn't really know.

Falling onto her old bed, Cinder buried her face on her mattress and screamed.

* * *

"Good morning!"

Blake blinked as Jaune sat down across from her, carrying a tray with a big bowl of sugary cereal. "Um… Hi?"

"We-ell, I was going to try and find new friends, but then that hood girl gave me a really mean look and I noticed you, so..." He looked at her hopefully, and Blake bit the inside of her lip as she considered him.

 _God, he's like a lost puppy._ There was nobody else sitting at her table, as she had once again tucked herself away into a corner. Fighting back her ears to stop them from twitching and the lingering hope from the night before, she shrugged.  _Isn't this what I came here for? To make friends, to leave Adam and Illia behind me?_ "Sure."

"So…" Jaune's armor was too big, straps sticking out at odd angles-  _How long has he been a hunter, exactly?_ "If I hadn't come over, were you just going to sit alone again?"

She raised her book and an eyebrow at him. "I could ask you the same thing."

"I mean, I did try to talk to Snow Angel over there, but she just kinda ignored me." They both turned to look at Weiss, who was carefully cutting into her pop-tart with a fork and knife.

Blake's eyes narrowed as she took in the Schnee heiress. She had watched her argue with that red-cloaked girl – the Schnee was just as stuck up and bitchy as she had expected, and she would have been surprised if she wasn't racist too.  _I wonder… Is her clique not around or is she just sitting alone because she actually doesn't know anyone?_ "You have no idea who she is, do you?"

"Nope, not at all," Jaune deadpanned, and she couldn't help but laugh at his bravado blind confidence.

"Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Company. Best known for its wealth, faunus abuse, and questionable business practices." She kept her voice calm, fighting down the ballooning anxiety within.  _Relax. He's clueless, there's no way that he'll figure out you're a faunus just because you said the word.  
_

"Oh." Jaune nodded sagely, shoveling a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. "Right."

"Right."

They sat in awkward silence, the muffled sounds of chewing filtering in through her bow. It felt so wrong, blocking off half of her hearing; Blake felt half-deaf all the time, but that was the price she had accepted for attending a human institution. If her parents saw her like this, they would be… disappointed? Humiliated? The daughter of one of Menagerie's most respected families, hiding her heritage from the world like a coward.  _I am a coward. I ran from the White Fang, I'm hiding here..._

Finally, Jaune asked, "So, how exactly does this initiation thing work?"

Frowning, she fiddled with her book under the table. "I'm not sure. Probably we'll have to fight some big Grimm-"

"What? We will? I thought that it would be some sort of test, that's what it said on the application..." Blake just stared at him, and realization then horror crossed Jaune's face. "...it's a combat test. Right, because this is a combat school, that makes  _perfect_ sense."

 _Yeah, he definitely hasn't been a hunter for very long._ "What exactly were you expecting? This is the most prestigious combat school in the world, after all."

"I-" Jaune blushed and looked away, his spoon trembling slightly in his grasp. "I don't know."

Blake frowned, considering her twinge of guilt at the blond boy's reaction. Did he even know how to fight? Surprisingly, she found she didn't want him to fail; maybe she had a friend, here. "You'll be fine, I'm sure. Even if you aren't as experienced as everyone else here, you'll still have aura and your weapon to protect you."

A baffled look crossed his face. "Aura?"

"You're kidding, right?" His expression, quite clearly, showed that he wasn't. "Aura, like the power that protects us? The stuff that lets you use your semblance?"

"I have... not slightest clue what you're talking about."

Light broke through the clouds, illuminating the cafeteria table. A loudspeaker in the room's upper corner burst to life, and Glynda's voice resounded through the cavernous dining hall.  _"All students – please begin to make your way to Beacon Cliff for initiation."_

Before Jaune could react, Blake had gotten to her feet and walked around the table.  _What am I doing? I was going to stay back and watch, I said I wasn't going to get involved in another friendship that I would just end up ruining._ Against all of her better judgment, she grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his used tray. "Come with me."

"Wha- Where are we going?" he asked, stumbling after her. She pulled him through one of the adjacent hallways and into an empty classroom, letting go of him. The door creaked shut and the automatic lights blinked on, leaving a startled Jaune stranded by the lectern. "Is this like those scenes from those romcoms-"

"Yeah, I'm a lesbian, so that's not happening." Blake walked towards him, running her hand along the desks as she passed. "I figured you probably wouldn't want our entire class to see me awaken your aura."

"Right, so how exactly does this work?"

"Uh..." Blake (not so subtly) scratched her bow, straining her memory. Jaune's shoulders slumped watching her think.

"You don't know, do you?"

Blake shook her head at the desk below her hand, baring her fingers at the warm memory. "I was five when my dad woke my aura up. I remember it well, I just don't want to screw the words up."

"Words? So it's like magic?!" Jaune exclaimed.

She started to say no, then caught herself. "Yeah, I guess it kind of is like magic."

"Woah..." His blue eyes sparkled, and she laughed. Finally conjuring up her full memory, she walked up to him and place her hand on her chest.

"Close your eyes." Fighting down her nerves, Blake closed her eyes as well and concentrated. She had never awoken someone else's aura before, and the idea of screwing it up somehow sent chills down her spine.

"Uh, o-okay?"

And then she could  _see_.

The boy before her was an ocean of white, vast, incomprehensible. In contrast, her aura was a shadow, wispy purple smoking out the sheer light before her. More than that, his aura was calm, unchanging – Adam's aura had always been deeply unstable and Illia's had been ever-changing, so the stability struck her. In her mind's eye, the words of her father came to her unbeckoned:

_"_ _I_ _n the cycle of eternity, each of us is but one against the sea of time._ _Let us_ _stand against the sand,_ _infinite_ _in heart and strength._ _By tooth, by claw, by fist, by blade,_ _I free your soul_ _from_ _its_ _bondage,_ _for_ _now and_ _life everlasting."_

Releasing him, Blake slumped down to her knees. "Blake?" Jaune exclaimed, kneeling down next to her and supporting his back.

"I'm fine, that just took some aura," she gasped. Some was an understatement, of course – she hadn't been this drained in  _ages_.  _I just hope I have enough left for initiation._

An arm slipped through hers, and Jaune pulled her up into a standing position. Giving him a wry smile, she took his hand and stretched it out. A hazy white glow surrounded his body, and he looked down at himself in amazement. "Is that..."

"Yeah, that's aura," she said, coughing into her fist as she leaned further against Jaune. "Now you won't die in initiation, probably."

"Are you okay?"

She shrugged.  _I've been beaten half to death at protests, blown up slave mines, and lived in the wilderness in three of the four kingdoms for the past five years._ "I think I'll be fine."

She waited for Jaune to say something, and glanced up at him when he didn't. He had an odd expression and looked away as he caught her gaze. "You didn't have to do that, you know. I- I'm sure I would have been fine in initiation, and now you're tired-"

Blake pushed herself to her feet and flicked his ear lightly. "You know, you could just thank me."

"Oh, right, I- um, thank you! Really, I-" he stammered, then stopped as she burst out laughing again.

"You're welcome." Who had she been kidding? Sure, she hadn't planned on making friends, but when they found her…  _He's funny and nice in that adorably dorky way… I would be an idiot to push him away._ Giving him a genuine smile, she said, "That's what friends are for, after all."

Relief and happiness spilled across Jaune's face, and she knew that she had made the right choice. "Yeah."

Blake held out her fist and Jaune gave her a fist bump, wiggling his fingers as he pulled away. "Wanna go to initiation?"

"Let's do it."

* * *

Cinder had never felt worse in her life.

She had barely managed to keep herself asleep last night, tossing and turning as she drifted in and out of consciousness. Her bewilderment from yesterday had turned into a raging headache, and the general bleariness of her system shock had only just begun to set in. She hadn't worn a skirt since she was  _sixteen_ , and putting one on was one of the most humiliating things she had done in a long time. She had no makeup and nothing to help her ignore the soul-sucking emptiness filling her chest.

Looking in the mirror at herself, she wanted to puke again and of course it would be just her luck to find a certain redhead obliviously brushing her teeth at her side.

"So, Ruby, maybe we'll end up on the same team?" Pyrrha asked hopefully, setting her toothbrush aside and picking up her headpiece.

 _Maybe I'll shoot you in the chest again then disintegrate you, that sound like fun, doncha think?_ The other girl's blatant attempt to make friends with her; it just oozed with thinly veiled desperation. If Cinder hadn't been trying to play up Ruby Rose, she would have had  _so_ much fun turning the Mistrali Champion into her minion.

Realizing she was waiting for her to say something, she smiled – then looked in the mirror and corrected it from a grimace – and said, "Sure, that would be… nice?"

Pyrrha Nikos  _glowed_ with happiness, and Cinder fought down a tempting, tempting urge to slap her.  _How much of a passive-aggressive bitch do I need to be before you get the memo?!_

_Ruby Rose isn't a passive-aggressive bitch. I am Ruby Rose right now, I am Ruby Rose,_ _and_ _I would rather be Ruby Rose than trapped in one of Ozpin's torture dungeons for the next decade._

_Well,_ maybe  _if she could_ show  _how miserable is, all of this would be a little more bearable!_

"Hey, don't mind Ruby, Pyrrha." Cinder's eye twitched and she took a deep breath as Yang slung her arm around her neck. "She's always grumpy in the morning."

Finally, something about Ruby she could get behind!  _Now, time to use this to fuck with Bimbo some more._

Cracking a wry smile which ended up somewhere between a look of intense pain and a smirk, she said, "Yeah, I kinda slept like shit last night."

...and Yang burst out into raucous laughter, which Cinder was completely certain was not the intended result.  _F_ _uck, how did I screw th_ _at_ _up?_

"I'm sorry to hear that, Ruby," Pyrrha said, reverting back to her diplomatic mode as she warily eyed Yang. God, did Cinder want to rip apart her facade and show everyone the depressed lonely girl she knew was just below the surface.

Or kill both of them, that would be nice too.

"I can't believe you just said that," Yang wheezed, and Cinder pulled away from her indignantly.

"Said what?"

Yang calmed down slightly, her golden mane tumbling into the sink as she leaned against the mirror. "Ruby Rose, cursing. I thought I'd never see the day!"

Cinder gaped at her. Slowly, it dawned on her – the energetic diary, the cheerfulness,  _how happy Ruby was_.  _She's innocent. Of course she is, she's only fifteen. She's completely and utterly clueless about how the world works. Oh… That's stupidly obvious, how didn't I get that earlier?_

 _Wait, does that mean no cursing?_   _Yeah, fuck that. What would Ruby say here?_  "That's not true! I curse sometimes!" she protested, not sure whether to be proud or disgusted she could pull the intonation of a whiny fifteen-year-old off perfectly.

Now Pyrrha was laughing too and Cinder felt ever more humiliated than before. Yang gave her a sickeningly adoring look and mussed her hair up. "Aw, Rubes is at Academy now so now she can curse, listen to emo music, and eat ice cream  _after nine o'clock_! At this rate, you'll be even more rebellious than I was."

"Get off of me!" She ducked out of Yang's embrace and grabbed her toiletries, loathing everything about her new sister.  _I am one of the most powerful people in the world! I will burn you once I get my powers back if she keeps teasing me like this!_

"It's okay, Ruby." Pyrrha's voice was kind, and her eyes carried an alien warmth Cinder felt ashamed to meet. "We all went through that faze. If you want to be emo, don't listen to Yang."

 _I AM NOT EMO!_ Yang burst into another round of laughter as she dug eyeliner out of her bag and tossed into to her. Cinder shot her best disgusted glare at Yang, then pocketed the pencil:  _at least now I'll have some makeup._ "I'm going to initiation," she spat – could she sound more like a petulant child? - and stormed out of the bathroom.

"Try not to poke your eye out!"

 _I know how to use eyeliner!_ she wanted to shout but restrained herself. Taking deep breaths, she pulled the combat skirt down as far as it could go and relaxed her stride into her usual confident gait.

The situation didn't matter. Cinder Fall was a professional, and she  _would_ maintain her composure in a combat situation. She pushed all of the awful things that had happened in the past day to the back of her mind and focused on the task at hand. She found her locker with ease and slid Crescent Rose out of her holder. Ruby's singular diary entry had been helpful for that, at least. She knew the names of her scythe, Yang's gauntlets and bike, and where Ruby had lived.

Although she hadn't gotten a chance to try Crescent out yet, she couldn't deny the faint feeling of excitement stirring in her chest. It had been a long time since she had handled a real weapon. The last had been her dual blades, which were still her go-to weapon to form with fire, but she had loved those blades. Even turning the crimson steel over in her hands, there was an undeniable realness to the sniper she had never truly been able to replicate as the Fall Maiden.

No, she didn't mind Ruby's weapon at all. Comparing her outfit to Pyrrha's powerful gladiatorial armor and Yang's drifter garb though…

She didn't care what her "sister" had to say. The skirt had to go.

_Fuck this body. I am the most powerful person at this school, and everyone here is going to know it._

Grass gently blew in the wind, bending towards the Emerald forest as Cinder strode towards Beacon Cliff. She held her head high, defiantly meeting the gaze of anyone who dared stare at her. She knew how to intimidate – she had spent years mastering her gait and air of confidence. Sure, the skirt ruined her walk and it was a whole lot easier when you could set someone on fire with a gaze, but from the whispers around her, she knew she was doing her job.

_As long as Yang isn't around, I can do whatever the hell I want. Maybe if I figure out a way to dispose of her, without anyone figuring it out…_

No, it was time for her to start taking her rightful position in the world back, and she already could see the perfect place to start.

Weiss' outfit and hair were just as prim and perfect as it had been yesterday. Unlike Ruby, her combat skirt didn't make her look like a five-year-old, and she nervously shifted from one leg to the other. Cinder smirked as she stepped onto the gray square beside her, leaning her hand at her hip and tossing her hair out of her face. "Oh look, if it isn't the princess herself."

Weiss spun around, fear and sadness flashing across her face before turning to anger. "I don't remember giving  _you_ permission to speak to me."

"Well  _clearly_  you didn't give anyone permission, or else you might have had someone to sit with at breakfast," she smoothly shot back, venom dripping off her tongue as she shifted Crescent Rose under her cloak. "Or did your father tell you to scout out your allies before you make friends?"

The heiress' face turned bright red. Clenching her fists, she stepped off her plate and walked to come face to face with Cinder. She had to give Princess props; getting looked down on made her  _mad_. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. In fact, I'd bet you only got in here because Daddy paid old Oz something a little extra." Cinder tilted her head to the side and allowed herself a smug grin. She wasn't about to give the other girl any credit, and she could already see the response coming.

"You know  _nothing_ about my family!" Cinder didn't bother responding as Weiss blathered about the Schnee Dust Company for a moment. Everything that came out of her mouth, she could use as ammo against her. Finally, she stopped her tirade and she yawned.

"Are you done yet?"

Weiss glowered at her. "I will have you know that  _I_ filled out the application and fought my way into this school. I don't need to listen to a nobody fifteen-year-old with a hero complex and an oversized weapon. You can go find somebody else to be an asshole to now." A certain resolve passed through Weiss' countenance, and she spun on her heel and stomped back to her square.

"Oh, so now you're just going to ignore me? How mature of you," Cinder snapped, then practically snarled as Weiss stared ahead. She waited a moment but got no response.

A deep anger filled her, and she fought to keep herself from launching herself at the other girl. If this was hell, the gods had figured out the perfect way to torture her, alright. All anyone else needed to do was point out her age or maturity and all of her poise and cunning was turned into a  _laughingstock._

_Happy. Energetic. Socially awkward. Nice. Innocent._

_How can I be someone so completely different from me? Who would want to be like that?_

"You're still mad, Rubes?"

Cinder jumped as Yang stepped onto the square on her other side.  _I don't want to deal with this right now._ Instead of answering, she just looked away and crossed her arms. It was easier to watch Weiss and stew than pretending to be Ruby Rose.

What she didn't expect was when Yang wrapped her in a warm hug. On instinct, she stiffened and pulled away, breaking free of the contact.  _No, no, no, my eyes are not watering, I absolutely refuse to cry twice in twenty-four hours._ Looking back, the blonde stared at her with a hurt and confused expression. "Ruby, what's wrong? You know I was just teasing you, right?"

Cinder bit back a retort and paused. Something about the way Yang stood told her she was teetering on the edge of something, a line that Ruby certainly would never cross and she couldn't.  _This is Ruby's sister. Of course she isn't going to pull out of hugs or hate physical contact. What am I doing?_

Her embrace had been warm… She had never found the unconditional love she had seen from Yang directed at her before. It felt- She didn't know how it felt, but somehow…

She found herself running forwards and throwing her arms around Ruby's sister.  _Congratulations, you just mastered the art of the clingy sister,_ she snarked to herself, but it felt hollow as Yang hugged her back and pressed her head against the older girl's shoulder. Was that moisture?  _Nope. Pollen. I'm not crying._

_I'm so fucking weak._

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Yang whispered into her hair, and she dug her fingernail into her palm to bring herself back to reality.

"It's all just too much," Cinder muttered, letting the truth slip out. "I don't know what's happening."

She couldn't remember the last time she had touched someone for this long. Unfamiliar and unwelcome emotions spun inside her chest, and she fought them down. No, she would not feel  _protected_ by a teenager. Why was she relaxing? Why did she feel guilty? Why couldn't she control herself? Why couldn't she pull away?

"Shh..." Yang's thumb gently wiped a tear from her cheek, and Cinder had to bite down on her tongue to stop herself from screaming. "Ruby, you're so strong. Initiation will be a breeze, so don't worry about it! You'll be fine, even if we aren't partners. You even made a new friend last night! I mean, that's more social than I've seen you in a long time! Just, let's take some deep breaths and kick some Grimm butt, okay?"

She was too devastated to conjure up anything better than, "O-okay."

Yang let go and she was cold again. Blinking away the cloudy haze over her eyes, she looked up to see Weiss staring at her with a look of utter contempt and revulsion. Cinder knew exactly how that must have looked to the heiress –  _one second I was a heartless bitch, and the next I was a pathetic sniveling mess. I deserve every ounce of that look._

_I can't be Cinder Fall and Ruby Rose. I have to choose one, and only one of those choices is going to keep me free and alive._

"Hey Ice Queen, leave my baby sister alone or I'll punch you off the cliff!"

_And that just made it a million times worse. I wonder whether I'll wake up from this nightmare if I go and pitch myself off that cliff._

Yeah, suicide seemed like the preferable option at the moment.

If it was even possible, Weiss' expression grew even  _more_ contemptuous. She shook her head, rolled her eyes, and turned back to the Emerald Forest. The message was clear: she wasn't worth another second of her time.

Cinder couldn't agree with her more.

She spaced out, doing her best to drown out Ozpin with her thoughts. The headmaster blathered on for a minute, then the launcher pads started to activate one by one as students flew into the air over the Emerald Forest. By the time it occurred to her that she didn't know how Ruby's weapon or semblance worked, she was already falling towards the trees below.

She fumbled with Crescent Rose for a second. Just from looking at it, she was pretty sure the storage mode also worked as a blaster. Pointing it at the quickly approaching ground, she put her finger on the trigger and pulled.

Nothing happened.

 _Well, fuck._ Of course she hadn't loaded the damn gun or remembered to bring any ammo with her. She had been too busy coming up with creative ways to kill Yang… Who had hugged her… Why was she so confused?

_Tree!_

Curling up, she activated her aura at the last second as she punched through the canopy and into the dim forest. Smashing through three branches, she collided with the ground in a cloud of leaves and rolled through bushes before coming to a dead stop in a thorny bracket.

 _Ow…_ Pulling herself to her feet, Cinder winced as her arm throbbed in pain. "So much for a fucking landing strategy," she muttered as she yanked sticks out of her hair and walked to where Crescent Rose had fallen. "You're so strong, Ruby. Initiation will be a breeze, Ruby. Yeah, fuck you too Yang." Ripping the rifle out of the ground, she held it up to the light and glared at it.

 _Alright, so I just lost half of my attack possibilities because I've never used the damn thing before and how was I supposed to know I needed to get ammo?_ Kicking angrily at the dirt, she started pressing random buttons to see what they did. The first two next to the trigger seemed to be the safety and the toggle for reloading. The third made a sleek red scope pop out of the rifle – cute, but absolutely useless to her. Finally, she pressed the fourth and nearly dropped the scythe that folded out of the compact rifle.

She stared at the massive weapon, taller than she was.  _Okay. Okay then. I'm not going to think about it, I'm not- How am I supposed to use a weapon that's a foot taller than me?! How do I swing it! This weighs sixty pounds!_

She grabbed the scythe with two hands and tried to lift it up. Immediately, she went off balance and the blade sunk three inches into a nearby tree. Screeching in fury, she yanked it back out. The weapon slid across the wood like butter, flying out far easier than she had expected. Stumbling backward, she couldn't keep her balance again and fell back into the briars.

The sky was a nice blue, maybe she could just-  _Nope. I am going to master this stupid blade if it kills me. If Yang sees me fighting this bad, I'm dead meat._

Red aura healed a scratch on her cheek. Picking her weapon back up, she took a wide stance and fought to keep her balance as she took experimental swipes with the oversized blade. In a moment of inspired rage, she spun around and swung the blade through a nearby tree trunk. The oak fell with a satisfying crack, and she grinned as she realized that finally, she had a chance to work off steam.

Several trees later, she let Crescent Rose fall to the ground. Her breaths came deep and ragged; how did Ruby have such low endurance? She barely ever fought, and she could have gone longer than this easily!

Something growled behind her, and she froze.

The Ursa Major slunk into the clearing she had made with cunning malevolence. Cold sweat broke out across Cinder's forehead – for a moment, it was as if she had been transported back to the Grimmlands.  _Salem, Salem's found me! I lost the maiden powers, I've been weak, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm-_

_No._

_She knows nothing. You can take down a fucking Ursa._

Picking Crescent back up, Cinder gritted her teeth and ignored the blossoming pain in her shoulder and the sheer exhaustion she felt both mentally and physically. She stalked forwards as the massive Grimm charged her with a furious bellow. Bringing the scythe up, she took a wild swing at its head. Her muscles screamed at her as she bashed the blunt side of the blade into its head.

The Ursa staggered back and reared up onto its hind legs. Panting, she stood her ground and readied herself for another swipe. This one came from the side – she had no choice but to bring Crescent up into a two-handed block. Spinning out of the way, she slashed her blade down the Ursa's foreleg, not looking up to see its hindleg spin around and knock Crescent Rose away into the woods.

Blind fury filled Cinder, every ounce of her being, rising through her as she staggered away from the Grimm. Shrieking in outrage, she threw her arms to the side and cast her head back. Reaching deep inside, she reached for the fire to execute her most powerful attack, ready to blast the punitive Grimm of the face of Remnant only to come up empty.

Ruby Rose wasn't the Fall Maiden. Cinder Fall was, and she couldn't be Cinder Fall anymore if she wanted to survive.

Claws ripped into Cinder's body, flinging her back against a tree. Her aura shattered as she fell to her knees, blood trickling from her head as she stared up at the Ursa.  _So this is how it ends. I knew this was just a nightmare. This is probably my punishment for failing to get the relic._

_Knowing Salem, this is going to fucking hurt._

Defiantly, she stared up at the Ursa, accepting her fate as it reared back to crush her. Suddenly, a blur of white shot from the trees. The Grimm didn't have a chance to cry out in pain before a round of dust exploded into its skull. The hulking form evaporated into a cloud of black smoke, and Cinder's savior fell to the ground with a dignified twirl.

Hesitantly, Cinder looked up. In a moment that would define the rest of her life, she met Weiss Schnee's icy blue eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [A/N] And now in chapter three of Cinder Freaks Out (tm):
> 
> Cinder tries to be herself and Ruby here, and it blows up in her face pretty spectacularly. Also, Blake awakens Jaune's aura. I'm of the opinion that the awakening ritual is culture-specific, so I reworked the one Blake uses to be more specific to Menagerie.
> 
> The support on this story has been crazy! I love all of you amazing reviewers, and remember that I always appreciate any sort of concrit you guys have for me – be it stylistic, grammatical, plot-wise or character-wise, anything helps. Keep it up and thank you!
> 
> Signing out, Allie


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